When it comes to updating readers on my creative journey, so much could be said here. This could be 800 posts. And that’s a problem. I need to focus!
What Day is it? What Month? What Year?
Life in the midst of COVID has a funny way of offering no time (and yet a lot of time) to reflect.
This time last year, looking forward to 2020, I had no idea I would be sitting here now with a new baby boy smiling at me, 8 months of not teaching in person, a beloved friend and companion passing away, a career change, and the ENTIRE WORLD in massive transition to who knows what.
A lot has happened since I last wrote a blog post!
(I wrote A LOT in July to keep up with a post a week, anticipating I’d be tired at the end of pregnancy and very busy in postpartum.) BINGO! Without such planning, this blog surely would have collapsed.
But now we’re synced up in time again. Hello friends ready to kick 2020 out.
Losing Our Best Buddy
Loss has a sharpening power like nothing else I have experienced. It sharpens the senses and punctures holes in time - forever remembered and experienced differently.
Birth? Very similar. But for opposite reasons.
Two and a half months after our boy was born, we lost our dog of 14 years. (Adam and I ran out and got him right away when we started dating.)
It froze me up a lot more than I anticipated. I spent several days not finding joy in many things usually bringing me joy.
I found myself just sitting and staring and thinking. Thinking of how I love and value so many people and places. My husband and I went through so many changes with calm and beautiful black lab Linus by our side. He was such an irreplaceable friend and wise companion.
My meaning-seeking brain tries to positively ingest experiences (or at least make the most of them). Therefore, an onslaught of meandering thoughts came in after he died.
- I have to learn something from this.
- I have to use life wisely.
- I have to make the most of time with people I love.
- I have to help more people.
- Never take anything or anyone for granted.
Wow. That’s a lot of pressure. It’s a wake-up call.
And being a new mom again? It means I don’t mess around with inefficient practices involving safety or tolerate nearly as much.
2020 Wrap Up
The main lesson from 2020 - don’t waste your life - was a year slammed shut with our dog passing away and me going back to work after maternity leave.
As I write this, life is in limbo because I’m not sure what my career will be next. I left for reasons strictly related to COVID.
Do I really quit over COVID?
Or does COVID simply reveal a lot about how I'm not a good fit?
Not knowing the future is a challenging anxiety-provoking way to live. However, when did I ever think I knew the future? What delusion was that!
With an aggressive yet compassionate mindset, I'm scratching out an opportunity I'm excited about. Could 2021 be a chance to fall and land in a more graceful position? I sure hope so - for a lot of people.
Blog Changes Going Forward
While weekly blogging has been an incredibly enjoyable creative outlet, I want to focus on music and freelance writing for others (at least for a while).
- I’ll post when it counts (mostly First Creative Dollar or history content tied to business and inventions).
- Interested in my personal spin on things? I will share more personal info like my writing/music journey on social media (mostly Instagram and Twitter). I also focus on books and quotes there.
- Blog comments will be turned off.
*This was a difficult decision. I really enjoy commenting on other blogs and become excited when I receive a comment here. However, I also spend more time than I would like deleting spam. If people have a thought on what I’ve created, they can certainly comment on my posts on social media (where most of the action is happening anyhow).
What Was Learned From Weekly Posting?
Mostly, I learned I love to write.
Plus, I enjoy the discipline required of creative content. However, blogging as I do it now is an odd middle land between writing for others and writing for myself - maybe best left separated out into freelancing and social media? I would like to write more for publications to formalize my research (and - let’s be honest - get paid), and I would like to write more for myself in a journal. The blog? Well, without changes it might become an odd no man's land to nowhere.
SO - as mentioned above - this blog will become more specific; full of First Creative Interviews and First Creative History Stories.
I will still call it Savvy History, however, with the hope my songs about inventors make it on here.
But for now?
I need luck figuring out my career! I’m oddly very optimistic about whatever changes happen. I’m feeling like this about 2021 too. Maybe someone should smack me?